The Harsh Realities of Life
To be quite transparent...Life is pretty rough sometimes. Sometimes a little overwhelming. Okay so I have to be honest. The month of March was definitely a painful one in all the areas of my life. Even a little bit of April but its gotten better. So to make this long story short and to the point. March is my birthday month. I was getting over a really bad cold like the day before my birthday. On my birthday I finally feel a little better and enough to get out of the house. My friends and family we were gonna hang out go to the beach, have a dinner, and then go out with my friends after, which was great! Then I received that phone call, the one that no one ever wants.
It was a call saying my great grandmother wasn't doing so well and she was dying. Now my great grandparents were very involved in my life and had everything to do with helping to raise me. My great grandma especially. I have so many very fond memories of her. The kind of memories where even as a toddler I loved adventuring and just being out of the house. So my dad bought a stroller for her to take me out because she could no longer carry me. I remember us going out in Chinatown, or her taking me to the park, she always cooked me food (that was extremely important to her that everyone was fed). About 6-7 years ago my great grandmother was in the stages of Alzheimers, and about 5 years ago she couldn't really remember who I was. A piece of my great grandmother died when my great grandfather died about 8 years ago.
I was young then and I was sad, but death wasn't something my brain could fully comprehend. My parents didn't let me attend that funeral because of my age and they didn't want me to see him like that. Now that I'm older and understand fully between life and death, it hit me kind of hard. My great grandmother passed on March 22, 2017 she was 95 years old. I never really experienced having someone close to me pass away. It was a new thing I was dealing with. I was grieving for both of them.
The thing that I think I had the hardest time dealing with is that life is a great thing but it becomes so busy and on the go, you don't really catch a break. When all this was happening all I wanted was to just take a moment and..not do anything to be honest. There were days where I just wanted to not go school or not go to work to just hide for a little and process everything. The way I saw it is that someone's life had just ended and I was upset, a little angry I guess. The world seemed to continue on and it didn't stop. It was hard to continue completing daily actives and task when all I wanted was to lay down. Everything from school, work, activities, etc all started to feel so stressful on top of dealing with this personal issue of losing a loved one. But with the support of my family and friends, I am dealing with everything I believe in a healthy way.
Some days are hard, and others are pretty fun. I miss my great grandmother very much. I miss both of them. To think of how much of an honor it was to have them help raise me and to know them. I know friends when we talk grandparents or even great grandparents that they don't even get to meet them or have even known them. I'm doing my best and trying to change my perspective on the situation. Instead of focusing on the sad part which is important for the grieving process, but to also celebrate her life, to have known her, to have her instill some culture in me. That one day I will pass to my own kids. I was extremely blessed.
The reason for writing and sharing something personal was because I know each and every one of us has so much going on then just this class, more than what's portrayed on your Instagram. There is so much more than meets the eye. We all got inconveniences and plenty of things happen, but hey.. I may not know everything in your life or even about you but I know we all got some rough days and its okay. Whatever you are feeling is valid, its your feelings and every experience you have is special and your own. I can't say I know exactly how you feel, but whatever it is we all can definitely be there to listen and encourage one another.
#meraki #merakilous #love #thejourney
It was a call saying my great grandmother wasn't doing so well and she was dying. Now my great grandparents were very involved in my life and had everything to do with helping to raise me. My great grandma especially. I have so many very fond memories of her. The kind of memories where even as a toddler I loved adventuring and just being out of the house. So my dad bought a stroller for her to take me out because she could no longer carry me. I remember us going out in Chinatown, or her taking me to the park, she always cooked me food (that was extremely important to her that everyone was fed). About 6-7 years ago my great grandmother was in the stages of Alzheimers, and about 5 years ago she couldn't really remember who I was. A piece of my great grandmother died when my great grandfather died about 8 years ago.
I was young then and I was sad, but death wasn't something my brain could fully comprehend. My parents didn't let me attend that funeral because of my age and they didn't want me to see him like that. Now that I'm older and understand fully between life and death, it hit me kind of hard. My great grandmother passed on March 22, 2017 she was 95 years old. I never really experienced having someone close to me pass away. It was a new thing I was dealing with. I was grieving for both of them.
The thing that I think I had the hardest time dealing with is that life is a great thing but it becomes so busy and on the go, you don't really catch a break. When all this was happening all I wanted was to just take a moment and..not do anything to be honest. There were days where I just wanted to not go school or not go to work to just hide for a little and process everything. The way I saw it is that someone's life had just ended and I was upset, a little angry I guess. The world seemed to continue on and it didn't stop. It was hard to continue completing daily actives and task when all I wanted was to lay down. Everything from school, work, activities, etc all started to feel so stressful on top of dealing with this personal issue of losing a loved one. But with the support of my family and friends, I am dealing with everything I believe in a healthy way.
Some days are hard, and others are pretty fun. I miss my great grandmother very much. I miss both of them. To think of how much of an honor it was to have them help raise me and to know them. I know friends when we talk grandparents or even great grandparents that they don't even get to meet them or have even known them. I'm doing my best and trying to change my perspective on the situation. Instead of focusing on the sad part which is important for the grieving process, but to also celebrate her life, to have known her, to have her instill some culture in me. That one day I will pass to my own kids. I was extremely blessed.
The reason for writing and sharing something personal was because I know each and every one of us has so much going on then just this class, more than what's portrayed on your Instagram. There is so much more than meets the eye. We all got inconveniences and plenty of things happen, but hey.. I may not know everything in your life or even about you but I know we all got some rough days and its okay. Whatever you are feeling is valid, its your feelings and every experience you have is special and your own. I can't say I know exactly how you feel, but whatever it is we all can definitely be there to listen and encourage one another.
#meraki #merakilous #love #thejourney
Hi, I am truly sorry for your lost.
ReplyDeleteI hope things get better for you and your family.
Also I really like when you mention "more than what's portrayed on your Instagram..There is so much more than meets the eye." I 100000% agree on with you!
Again, I hope everything gets better!